Washington, District of Columbia

Much of the drive from Charlottesville was a blur. Rather than concentrate on what we were seeing, what was in front of us, my thoughts were entirely on the end of the road. Driving through Rosslyn, VA and over the Key Bridge – a drive that we make several times a week under normal circumstances – was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a long time. When in some instances familiarity brings comfort, the sight of our old reference points and the usual cityscape made me incredibly sad. Even LVL’s attempts at making our homecoming like first arrivals at other cities didn’t lift our spirits or alter reality. No pictures of the Washington Monument, Georgetown, or the Potomac, could change the fact that our summer adventure, our Wedding Road Trip, was over. I wasn’t – and as of this writing am still not – able to think about what we’d just done or focus on the thousands of great memories we’ve made. Instead, I can’t escape my sense of loss and bemoan our new reality. I’m well aware that saying this makes me sound like a spoiled, pitiful, ingrate.*

It’s hard to believe how fast everything came and went, how fleeting it all feels. Anyway, I’ll spare you (and myself) the maudlin exercise in woe is me. Instead, a few things I’m going to miss, in no particular order:

• The moment of anticipation just before the car is started. Without necessarily saying so, both LVL and I have expectations for the day, things we’re looking forward to seeing, experiencing, hearing, saying. I’ve never looked forward to little things this much, to smelling the ocean air, seeing an oddball billboard, etc. and experiencing them all with LVL.

• As much as I’ve come to dread it, I will miss the packing and unpacking, moving in and moving out. I’ve grown to love hotel luggage carts, and will always have great memories of our loading routine: sloshy cooler and two duffels full of clothes on the bottom of the cart; tech bag and toiletry bag on top; Safeway shopping bag with coffee stuff (electric kettle, French press, two plastic mugs, britta water filter) either on top or hanging from a hook, depending on the model of cart. Never have I longed for the repetition of that mundane exercise than I do right now.

• The excitement and freedom of the open road, of seeing a new city, experiencing a new cuisine or a new people, meeting/seeing an old friend for the first time, of getting to know the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. It’s been liberating in ways that I couldn’t have anticipated. It’s also given me perspective, shifted my priorities somewhat, and changed my life.

• Life without TV. Meals together, whether at a restaurant, with friends and family, or by ourselves, were always about the food, the setting, and the experience of the meal. The same is true of our evenings, most of which were spent out exploring rather than boob toobing. I’m going to work hard to keep it that way.

• Living for and in the moment. Cheezy but heartfelt. It’s hard to avoid when you’re experiencing something fresh every day, often several times a day. The exercise and the challenge of trying to describe the beauty and grandeur of our daily life, even its most trivial aspects, is also something I’m going to miss. Taking pictures of everything – food, street signs, weird trees, beautiful views, etc. – is an expression of that joy, and significant to me in ways far beyond my expectations in late May.

• LVL. This morning when she left for work, I realized that we’ve been together for about 95% of the last 11 weeks. I knew a long time ago that we were meant to be together, but the fact that I miss her company terribly says a lot.

• Time with friends and family. It’s a cliche, but a crucial one; in fact it was the driving force behind our decision to spend the summer this way. We had so much time with people we love and care deeply about. So much so that in the moment, we might have taken some of it for granted. I certainly don’t take it for granted now, and feel so lucky that people put their lives on hold for us, sometimes for days and weeks on end.

• The food. Though right now I want nothing more than salad and home cooked health food, I’m going to miss the process of finding a restaurant (Yelp, Roadfood, Google, we’ll be back), the thrill of seeing a new place, reading a new menu, being among a foreign crowd of fellow diners and wait staff, and – of course – the indulgence of feasting on a city’s heaviest (most likely fried, heavily salted) signature eats.

• Being surprised by places, people, and myself. Few things can top falling in love with a city or a town I had previously written off or ignored. Several come to mind, including Boise, Albuquerque, and Wilmington. Same goes for people – both strangers and friends. Most of all, each other. LVL’s kindness, generosity, sense of humor, wit, intelligence, sensitivity, strength of character, honesty, and most of all, humanity, surprised me every day this summer, and surely will for the rest of our lives.

Life must go on, though, and ours began again about 4:30 on Saturday, August 7. Back in DC. Oy. To grease the wheels a bit, we stopped at Safeway to get a few beers and some food for the next few days. Nothing like jumping right back into the routine. Parked on Fulton, unloaded a few essentials, chatted with our (drug dealer) neighbor**, and walked down the two flights of stairs to our apartment. LVL in first, using the keys from our lock box.

Thankfully, Kwame, Liz, and Zora (our summer tenants) left the place (mostly) very clean and seem to have taken very good care of our plants, furniture, books, and other stuff. Once in, we sat on the couch and just stared at each other in disbelief. I cried, hard, overwhelmed by it all. In fact, I feel like crying right now. Adjusting to the normalcy of everyday life is going to take a while.

About 8:30 or so, we pulled ourselves together and walked to 2 Amys, our favorite restaurant in DC, for one last celebration. Scott arrived from NYC just in time to join us.*** No doubt his company kept us from a quiet, downer of a meal spent with our own thoughts. As ever, the deviled eggs (with magic green sauce), the smoked cod croquettes, and the pizzas were all great. The decibel levels forced us to shout across the table and prevented much if any quiet introspection. Thankfully.

Please forgive the sap of our final comment, as it comes from a real place. Every day, people long for times gone without realizing the beauty of what lies ahead. If anything, I hope this trip helps us focus on what we have, what’s around us, no matter where we are or what we’re doing, and how quickly life flies by. We are infinitely lucky to have each other, to be surrounded by the most caring, generous friends and family around, and incredibly fortunate lives. This trip was an example and an expression of our good fortune, and we’ll never forget it.

* We don’t for a minute forget how charmed we are to have survived in one piece, to have avoided any and all car problems [Ed. note: I love that our car dying at Salvation Mtn is already a distant/non-memory], major or minor snafus of any sort. For several reasons, many people bet against us completing the journey. We did it, and made it home safe and sound. Not for a minute have we overlooked this fact.

** Ed. note: He is not OUR drug dealer. In fact, we have no idea if he's a dealer at all. He just seems to have lots of time on his hands and lots of traffic to and from his apartment. Whatevs. He's also a super friendly guy and after three years, we still don't know too many people in our 'hood, so I don't really care how he pays the bills.

*** Life kicks us when we’re down (!): Monday begins Scott’s final week in DC before starting a new job in New York. He’ll be sorely missed.

Final ed. note: Thank you, Josh, for so diligently recording our summer. It was the best few months of my life and I can think of no other way I would have rather celebrated our nuptials. We make quite a team and I can't wait to see where we go next. And thanks to the rest of you who followed along with this blog. For those we were fortunate enough to see during the trip, we appreciate you taking the time to celebrate with us. For those we missed, we hope our paths cross soon and that you'll celebrate with us then. And now, back to real life….