Toronto, Canada

After learning that Niagara Falls were formed by during the Wisconsin glacial period, Janet expressed some confusion at what exactly glaciers do. Don't they primarily form glacial valleys, like those seen in Glacier National Park?

Well, no. They also form waterfalls, flat land (like Wisconsin), and pretty much everything else that cannot be explained by natural historians. Basically, "glaciers" is the scientific equivalent of a parent telling their child "because I said so".

How was the river valley formed? Glaciers.
That rock formation? Glaciers.
Machu Picchu? Glaciers.
Probably also stonehenge, and those giant heads out on Easter Island.

Anyway, onto Toronto. Just for the fun of it, we thought it would be cool to find a good vegetarian restaurant in town, so we came across this place, Commensal, not realizing that it was buffet style, pay by the pound dinner (see video)

Regardless, it was seriously the best meal I've had in some time.

We wandered through Queen's park, saw some students practicing Shakespeare outside in a little park, and briefly toured the Bloor/Yorkville neighborhood. Of course, I insisted on taking the subway to get back, because what better way to learn more about the locals, right? (see video)

Oh yes, and did I mention that we used priceline for the first time that day? $100 for a night at the four star Toronto Hilton! (see video)

Being the go-getters that we are, we got up early with the intention of running. Waiting on our room service breakfast we had ordered the night before (yes, we wanted to sample the good life), we realized it was late. Calling down to the front desk thankfully resolved the situation, as one of us (who shall remain nameless) had forgotten to write down the room number on the order sheet. Thankfully, they had prepared it anyway, hoping that we would call down and ask for it.

They bring up your muffin wrapped in a napkin, giving you the opportunity for a hilarious scam:

1. Simply put the napkin aside, then call down and tell them you didn't get your muffin.
2. They will apologize and bring up two more muffins to apologize for the mistake!
3. Then, after you have finished breakfast, reach for the napkin and realize that it already contains two hidden muffins.
4. Laugh maliciously while scarfing down your third and fourth muffins of the morning (hopefully they aren't all bran!)

Ambitiously, we went for a run, which meant the first half mile was spent running 1 block at a time, waiting for a walk sign, then running for another block. We stopped at a map, which pointed us along a "bike path" through several green sections, and out to a lakeside park.

To make a long story short, we basically ran through 40 minutes of abandoned industrial views, cursing the deceptive green areas of the map as well as our own overambitious metric conversion skills before arriving here (see video) (see video)

The return trip was better, because we were running towards the scenic downtown skyline, instead of a distant and unseen park amongst smokestacks, semis, and abandoned lots. After what amounted to a 10k, we returned to prepare our bags, which looked as though they had exploded into all corners of the room.

Please enjoy this next clip courtesy of the poor people waiting in the lobby after we had to send 3 empty elevators to the top floor just to score a ride in one of the scenic ones (see video)

You may have seen some of <a href="http://deadspin.com/sports/yahhhhhhh/canadian-psas-are-clearly-not-messing-around-327432.php">the recent Canadian Public Service Announcements on YouTube</a> and whatnot. But it's not limited to commercials...Canada is pretty damn serious about scaring the crap out of people (see video)

The big tourist attraction in Toronto is the CN Tower, the highest man-made structure in the world (for now), and the highest observation deck in the world (1465 feet). So, we walked to the base, detouring through a section or two of the PATH, an enormous network of over 1,200 underground stores and eateries (the largest in the world I'm told...or maybe Toronto just likes to brag about stuff?). (see video)

After heading through this high tech security system (which blasts you with air from every direction), we were heading up (see video)

So, the whole experience was pretty cool, not necessarily mind blowing, but definitely not something you'll see in many (any) other places. Let's call it....awe inspiring? The land surrounding Toronto is uber flat, so you get incredibly long views (to the other side of Lake Ontario). And you get a great view of the Toronto Islands, the largest car free community in North America.

They have whole sections of glass floor up there. It's pretty hilarious, because as you'll see, only the children will walk out onto it. A bit scary for those of us with a sense of mortality though (see video)

We could watch the rapidly approaching storm, with accompanying lightning (great time to be standing inside the worlds largest lightning rod, right?) (see video)

Waiting in line for the space pod (an observation deck another 300 feet higher) was maddeningly frustrating, mostly because you are already so high up, and crammed into a small space, then forced to wait another 30 minutes to complete the rest of the trip (that you have to pay a little extra for).

And, just for posterity, here are the official numbers on the tower's height (see video)

By the time we finally arrived at the space pod, the storm had arrived, and it was too cloudy and rainy to see much of anything. :-(
Then, you had to wait in line again to get back down. :-(

By then, we were too tired to do much of anything that didn't involve sitting, so we figured it was a good time to skip town...and made it to Windsor just as the fireworks were starting. What day was it? Apparently they have a giant shared independence celebration along the border between the US and Canada this time every year. According to the woman at the Best Western (which was maddeningly expensive in comparison to our Priceline deal in Toronto), they spend millions of dollars and 5 million people come to watch? Can someone do the research on those numbers?
We got a room with a view, but sadly they were over before you knew it, with an underwhelming/non-existant finale.

Miles driven: 220.

Only 1 picture was noteworthy from day 4, and it was this one.

If you had to run out the door and just don't have the time...you simply MUST be fishing as soon as possible. Well then, your prayers have been answered.